The Money Circles
by M. C
Summary: The Animorphs go to Visser 3's house for a Star Wars costume/slumber party. Insanity ensues. Rated PG for comic insanity.


**Disclaimer: **_I neither own this comic piece of crudeness/lewdness, but it's funny to me; owned by Mac T. Just passing it on for people who want to laugh or frown upon it. Rated PG for comic insanity. I'll try to post the prequel, _The Confused, _as soon as I can find it.--M.C._

**The Money Circles**   
**By Mac**

-------------------------------- 

Visser 3 finally put up all of the decorations for his party. He had been working all night. 

Plus, he had to skip nap time! Great, now he's going to be cranky at his guests all day! 

And he just HAD to act cool for the now congested, tag playing, comic reading, pillow sniffing, overweight, kilt wearing Chinese hippie kangaroo person named Dan! 

THIS ISN'T GONNA BE A VERY GOOD DAY… IT MIGHT EVEN BE BAD! Visser 3 thought, as he sat on his ducky fabric sofa. 

He turned on his tube to watch Blue's Clues, his favorite show. 

Hey, why don't we make it a Slumber Party? That would be fun… I see it! There's a clue, Steve!> 

As Visser 3 got educated by television, the Fractions decided it would be a good idea for them to look good in front of company. They began to give themselves makeovers. 

The Pork-of-Steers sighed. They've always contradicted the Fractions. Giving each other makeovers, talking on the phone, painting their claws with nail polish, always giggling and sharing secrets. Ugh! Who would like that? 

A Pork-of-Steer smiled. "I think I like that Author…" 

The Author jumped into the scene with 50 ninjas, and quickly killed the Pork-of-Steer for… liking him… 

Visser 3 got up when the show was over. That Blue is something… Hey! Doesn't this part of the story have to be over? After that ninja thing-> 

The Author wrote frantically. "Sorry! Just a second…" 

*** 

Jake looked at Dan. "Dan, is something wrong? You look different…" 

"Jake, that whacked Author made me a now congested, tag playing, comic reading, pillow sniffing, over weight, kilt wearing Chinese hippie kangaroo person! I'm sure I look different!" 

"I think you look cute…" 

"Marco, you're gay!" 

Marco sighed and went to see what Tobias was doing. Marco found him playing House with the girls. 

"Wouldja like some mo' tea, Mrs. Kingston?" Cassie asked Tobias in a southern accent. 

Grape tea, please!> 

"Okay!" 

Rachel tapped Tobias on his back. "Mrs. Kingston, how do you like my new Australian accent? I bought it myself…" 

Marco came up to them and cleared his voice. "Can I play?" 

Everyone had a mean look on their face. 

"Marco, you're gay!" Then, they resumed playing their game. 

Marco went over to Debbie and Ax. They were playing Old Maid. 

"Can I-" 

"Marco, you're gay!" 

Marco, you're gay!> 

Marco began to cry. He wasn't gay! He climbed into the closet and was never seen again. 

Suddenly, Marco woke up. He had a dream! He really wasn't gay! 

He looked around. He was in a closet. 

"Oh my gosh!" Marco ran out of the closet. 

But there was one problem. 

He was in Taco Bell completely naked! Everyone started to laugh and laugh and laugh… 

Suddenly, he woke up again! He looked around to see where he was. 

He was in the barn with hay on top of him. 

I HOPE THIS ISN'T A DREAM EITHER… he thought. 

He climbed out of the hay and looked around again. 

He was surrounded by Star Wars characters! 

Leia came up to him. "Marco! Come on! We're going to Visser 3's party!" 

Marco looked at Luke, Darth Vader, Leia, Yoda, C3PO, R2D2, and Tinky-Winky. 

"Wait a minute! Did the narrator just say, Tinky-Winky? As in the gay Teletubby?" Marco asked. 

Debbie zipped her purse and adjusted her purple upside-down triangle. "There were no more Star Wars costumes." 

"Who am I?" 

Jake, in the Luke Skywalker costume, handed him his costume. "You're Han Solo! Don't you remember?" 

How can anyone remember anything after they ate too many Rice Crispy Treats, barfed, and knocked themselves out?> Ax asked, in the Yoda costume. 

Shrugging, Marco got undressed in front of everyone, and put on his costume. Debbie, the giant Teletubby, kept staring at him. 

"Can we go now? I'm getting hot!" Dan whined, in the C3PO costume. 

"What kind of party is it?" Marco asked. 

"It's a Star Wars costume/Slumber Party. Now, let's go!" 

Everyone walked out of the barn and grabbed a taxi. 

As they walked to the party with the taxi they grabbed, Tobias poked his head out of his R2D2 costume. 

Boy, it IS hot in these costumes!> 

He then screamed in his hawk form for 4-and-a-half hours and dived into a manhole. 

"That was strange…" Debbie said as she stared at the manhole. "Even stranger than me!" 

Tobias climbed out of the manhole in his human form. "I'm okay!" 

They continued walking with the taxi. 

A hole opened in the sky and a giant Gummi bear fell on Cassie. The bear started to sing opera, but then it flew away. 

They continued walking… 

*** 

Visser 3 was fidgety. 

When will those Animorphs get here?!?> He tried to cool himself down with a song before he ate his fur. 

This ole man, he played one! He played knick-knack on my thumb…> 

*** 

This ole…man! He played… 8 million something…he played that…annoying game on my…something that rhymes with something…> 

Visser 3 died. 

A Pork-of-Steer came up and recharged his batteries. 

Visser 3 woke up and started to do the Macarena. 

A dozen Pork-of-Steers saw him and began to dance with him. 

After 2 hours of dancing, the visser heard a knock on the door. 

THEY'RE HERE!> Visser 3 yelled at the top of his…thought-speak. 

The-Pork-of-Steers ran away giggling because… well, they kind of thought… the Chinese hippie is cute… 

The Fractions exploded out of excitement, literally, which permanently messed up their makeovers. 

Visser 3 pulled on his costume, an ewok, and ran to the door. 

He opened the door and- 

*** 

Ax knocked on Visser 3's front door. 

The door opened. 

"Oh my god! It's an EWOK!!!!" Rachel charged at Visser 3 with Debbie, the all-known Teletubby. 

Visser 3 ducked out of the way, just in time to be rammed. 

What are you doing! I though you were my friends!> 

"Rachel, stop! It's Visser 3 in his costume!" Jake called out, as he watched Rachel get back up. 

Marco took a microwave out of his pocket and threw it at Rachel. 

Fortunately, it missed Rachel- 

Jake stopped the narrator. The microwave hung in mid-air. "What do you mean, fortunately? That could've gotten her to stop!" 

You didn't let me finish! 

Fortunately, it missed Rachel and hit Debbie. 

"Oh. Never mind…" 

Debbie rubbed her nose. "Ow! My nose hurts when I touch it!" 

The Author tapped his foot. "Then don't touch it!" 

Guess what? Debbie screamed for 5 hours straight for absolutely no reason at all. 

Why is everyone screaming in these stories?> Visser 3 asked. 

Comic relief,> Tobias replied, looking at Debbie's bruised, disgusting, gory, bloody, decapitated, retarded, inside out, dented-in nose. 

Did you have to put that way?!?> Ax asked, throwing up through his hooves. 

"Rachel, say you're sorry!" Jake demanded. 

Rachel turned and faced Visser 3 and apologized. 

Cassie walked through the door. "Well, I'm glad that's over!" 

"But what about me?" Debbie asked, pointing to her nose. 

Dan came up and kissed her… on the cheek. 

Debbie suddenly fainted. 

"That should keep her quiet." Dan started to gag. "Where's your toilet?" 

Dan ran in the house, in search of a bathroom. 

"What's wrong with him?" Cassie asked, stuffing her face with brownies as the rest of the Animorphs came in, dragging Debbie. 

"He kissed Debbie," Marco told her, dropping Debbie on the floor next to the Onakimelator-Thinga-ma-Jigger. 

Cassie shuddered. 

Okay, who wants to play Hide 'n Go Seek or something?> Visser 3 asked, putting up the Disco Ball. 

"All right," Jake said, "but can we take off these tacky costumes now? Tobias looks like he's ready to explode, since he's so hot." 

Dan came down the stairs, holding his stomach. 

"Can we take off these costumes off yet? I barfed all over the inside of mine." 

All right, all right. You can take them off.> 

"Visser 3, got any milk?" Cassie asked, with brownies all over her face. 

In the refrigerator.> 

When Cassie came out of the kitchen, she saw everybody trying to kiss their elbows. 

"Uhh, Visser 3, you're out of--" 

That's when Cassie saw the giant Gummi bear standing next to the Onakimelator-Thinga-ma-Jigger. 

And he was drinking a carton of milk. 

Cassie stared dreamily at the milk drinking bear. 

The bear finished the carton of milk, burped, and said in a sexy voice, "got milk?" 

He did an Irish jig and then whacked the Onakimelator-Thinga-ma-Jigger with a cartoon frying pan. 

Cassie was fuming. "That's it! No bear is gonna drink all the milk and leave none for me!" 

She charged at the Gummi bear full of cow juice, head-first. 

Suddenly, the Onakimelator-Thinga-ma-Jigger exploded, transforming Cassie and the giant Gummi bear into Will Smith clones. 

"Whoa…" 

Jake sighed with disappointment. "Well, it's unanimous. You just can't kiss your-" 

Cassie walked by. "What happened to you?" 

"Onakimelator." 

Jake nodded solemnly. 

Wanna play tag?> Visser 3 asked. 

I'm sick of playing games!> Ax snapped. 

Dan started to gag. "Don't say sick…" 

The Gummi bear Will Smith was watching TV. 

Rachel ran around screaming, while pulling her hair, for no reason at all. 

Visser 3's party was crashing. He had to do something to spice it up. He was getting embarrassed. 

Hey, watch! It hurts when you do this!> Visser 3 punched himself repeatedly in the face and gave himself a black eye. 

Rachel stopped screaming. "Hey, that's interesting enough to keep us occupied while you sneak into the bathroom and think of something for us to do!" 

Then, she resumed screaming, except punching herself in the face, while running around the room. 

Visser 3 ran into the bathroom. What am I going to do?!? Where are my Pork-of-Steers? They have my schedule!> Visser 3 crept out of the side door, looking for the Pork-of-Steers. 

He found half of them, staring at a banana three. 

What are you doing?!? You're supposed to be helping me out with my party!> 

"We're watching that pretty tree grow," a Pork-of-Steer replied, still looking at the tree. 

Where are the rest of you? The narrator said only half of you are here!?> 

The Pork-of-Steers pointed to the garage wall, which had been painted. 

Don't tell me they're watching the paint dry…> 

Visser 3 went over to the wall and found the Pork-of-Steers watching the paint dry. 

I said, don't tell me!> 

Visser 3 quickly killed the narrator and another one climbed out of his nose. 

Visser 3 ordered the Pork-of-Steers to go make snacks for his guests. 

He went back to the house, to find that everyone with bruised faces. 

"Visser 3, that was fun!" Marco said. "What are we gonna do next?" 

Uh, well, I did invite some other people here. They should be here any minute.> 

Visser 3 walked over to the stereo and popped in a Spice Girls CD. 

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. 

They're here!> 

"Visser 3, who are they?" Rachel asked, rubbing her face. 

Debbie woke up, her nose the size of a blimp. 

"I hope they're doctors…" she said, examining her nose. 

The door burst open, revealing a 6000-pound canary who stood there, selling Cheerios. 

Aww, just a Cheerio-selling canary…> 

Dan sat on the ground and screamed for 5-and-a-half hours. 

Visser 3 cut open the canary and ate him with purple gravy. 

"I'm bored," Jake said, trying to yell over Dan's voice. 

The Pork-of-Steers came in and began to salt the flowers. 

Ax tried to make a conversation. 

So…anyone know why this story is called _The Money Circles_?> 

"Beats me." 

"I dunno." 

"Who cares?" 

"Look! There are some money circles!" Debbie said, pointing at the coffee table. 

Three pennies sat next to the Mijukoliparitud. 

"What's a--" 

"Never mind!" the Author said, taking a shower in a blue apple. 

"Mr. Author, why are you--" 

The Author killed Debbie before she could get more annoying. 

Marco picked up the shiny circles. 

"Visser 3, what are these?" 

The room filled with smoke and a genie popped out of the coins. 

"I am the powerful genie guy! Whenever you say the word trousers, I come out of my pennies!" 

"But I didn't say trousers!" 

"Well, you just did! I came a little early, that's all." 

The genie faced the Animorphs and everyone else. 

"I will grant you three wishes, blah blah blah. What do you want?" 

The Pork-of-Steers spoke before anyone else did. 

"A chocolate unicorn!" 

"A grumpy caterpillar!" 

"A retarded moose!" 

The genie tooted his harmonica and the three objects appeared on the ceiling. 

No!> Visser 3 yelled in frustration. I wish for this party to be better!> 

"Too late! Gotta run! Late for my lunch break!" 

He then disappeared in his coins, they got up and swam to The Gap. 

"Okaaay, now what?" Tobias asked, staring at the freaks on the ceiling. 

The doorbell should ring.> 

The doorbell rang, just as Visser 3 predicted. 

Rachel raced to the door, knocking Visser 3 into his knife collection, and swung open the door. 

"Awww, man! It's just Snoopy selling illegal drugs. How many people sell products in this neighborhood?" 

Hey,> said Visser 3, a knife through his chest, why don't we ask our new guests?> 

He pointed to the Pork-of-Steers, trying to get their wishes off the ceiling. 

"Hey! Can I see that for a minute?" Jake asked, pointing to the chocolate unicorn. 

They tossed the unicorn to Jake, whom which he ate it immediately. 

Rachel rammed the Pork-of-Steer with the Gummi bear Will Smith, making him drop the grumpy caterpillar and retarded moose. 

Cassie came up to the Will Smith Gummi bear and ate him for no apparent reason. 

Tobias morphed Winnie the Pooh and waddled in the kitchen, desperately looking for honey. 

Visser 3 performed plastic surgery with a Giga Pet, while Marco can-canned on the chimney. 

Debbie took her wand and waved it over her head, making herself alive again. 

She watched everybody go nuts, her favorite subject. She then decided it was the perfect time to pull out all her teeth. 

She though she was going to die from the pain, but if she died, her parents would kill her! 

Finally, she joined the group and began chewing, or gumming, on rocks. 

Tobias burst out of the kitchen. HELP ME! I HAVE EATEN TOO MUCH HONEY!> 

He staggered and plopped on Debbie, gasping for air. 

Debbie was puzzled. "WHAT IS WRONG?!?" said Debbie, a little too loud, also in Tobias's ear. 

Can't… breathe…> 

"OH!" Debbie had this before. It was just she forgot to breathe. 

"DID YOU FORGET TO BREATHE?!?" she said. 

I can hear you! Don't yell!> 

Debbie clamped her hands over Tobias's furry mouth and nose. 

"IS THIS BETTER?!?" 

Tobias wriggled away from Debbie. 

"Everything going dark… can't see…> 

"YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE HONEY!" 

I… please… help… don't yell…> 

"CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?" 

Tobias went limp. 

"I'LL GO ORDER A PIZZA!" 

Debbie dashed out of the door, with the orchestra playing, "William Tell's Overture." 

She went to a pay phone, called Little Caesar's, and came back in. 

She found everyone playing with the retarded moose, now amazingly popular. 

Tobias lay on the floor, demorphed in his hawk form. Rachel came up to him, did a cartwheel, and screamed for 6 hours. Nonstop. Duh. 

"This is getting annoying when everybody is screaming," the Author advised, rubbing his head like some kind of movie director. "I can't think." 

"Sorry…" 

Rachel screamed weakly for 5 hours and 59 minutes, totally embarrassed. 

"Hey!" Marco pushed down everyone on purpose, having an idea. "I think… I think I… have an idea." Marco scrunched up his face, working on it. 

That is very unlikely,> Ax said, like a rich snob. 

"We…we could make the second Titanic movie…using… cream cheese…a toilet… and 46 paper planes." 

Oh my GOD! He did have an idea!> Ax said, surprised as a puppy on St. Patrick's Day. 

Everyone crowded around Marco, leaving the moose to be lonely. 

After an hour of discussing the new movie he was going to make, Tobias got jealous. 

Hey! Did you know that Tobias spelled backwards is Saibot?> 

"Oooh…" 

Rachel, still screaming, motioned to Cassie to Tobias. 

"OOOOH! LOOK AT HIS SAUCY WING MUSCLES!" Rachel yelled, feeling Tobias's wing. Then, Ariel the mermaid got jealous and killed Tobias with her rifle. 

"Hey! Check out my new movie!" Ariel held up a videotape, waving it in the air. 

She threw it out of her fish tank and it conked Debbie on the head. 

Debbie sung "Under The Sea," suddenly dived under the sofa, and she died immediately. 

"No thanks, Ariel." Marco replied. 

Suddenly, Ariel got so mad, steam blew out of her ears. She morphed a giant eggroll and ate Marco's head, swallowed it, and started to shake. 

She burped, then barfed all over the place. 

Ahh! Eww!> 

"Get her away from me!" 

"Aim her the other way!" 

When she was FINALLY done, thank goodness, she wiped her mouth and asked, "What happened?" 

"You ate… Marco's head," said Jake, starting to cover his mouth. "I don't believe you did that. I mean, his head is filled with… all sorts of things!" 

Marco's body felt around the room for his head. When he found it, it he put it back on his neck. 

"Whoo! That was FUN! Being thrown up all over the place was the most best thing that ever happened to me!" 

"See what I mean?" Jake told Ariel. 

Ariel didn't hear him. She was looking at Rachel's Old Navy shirt. 

"Hey, girl with the Old Navy shirt, where'd you get it?" 

"A gas station." 

"Oh." With that response, Ariel flopped over to the nearest gas station to buy herself a couple thousand Old Navy shirts. 

Hey, did anyone notice it's dark out?> Visser 3 asked, pointing out the window into darkness. 

Rachel shook her head. "No, Visser 3, you're wrong. It's light out." 

Suddenly, the sun came up and the Pork-of-Steers ran out to play. 

No, it's dark.> 

The Pork-of-Steers came in, because the sun was setting. 

"No, it's day outside and the Pork-of-Steers are going to play." 

The Pork-of-Steers ran outside. 

No, it's dark out and we have to go to bed!> 

The Pork-of-Steers came in. 

"No, it's day!" 

No, it isn't!" 

"Light!" 

Dark!> 

"Day!" 

Night!> 

"Noon!" 

Midnight!> 

Dan couldn't take it. "SHUT UP!!!!!" 

"We'll flip a coin!" Jake said quickly, before everyone ended up killing each other. "Heads, night. Tails, day." 

Jake took out a penny and placed it on his thumb. 

"Ready?" 

Everyone nodded. 

Jake flipped the coin and caught it. He looked at it, confused, then shrugged. "It's either a headed-tail or a tailed-head." 

Cassie sighed. "Jake, you idiot! You flipped a 3-sided penny! One side heads, one side tails, and one side a tailed-head… or headed-tail." 

Marco, you flip it. I bet YOU could even do that,> Tobias said. 

Marco took out a 50 dollar bill, crumpled it up, and ate it. 

Okaaaay, maybe not…> 

"OKAY! I will flip the coin." Rachel flipped the coin, looked at it, and cheered. 

"HA HA Visser 3I I won! In your face, Mr. I Think It's Night Out! So you can just--" 

Visser 3 stroked at her with his tail, but Rachel ducked just in time, before she was beheaded. 

A French guy ran onto the scene. "Ooh La La!" 

Then, he got hit in the face by Tarzan, who was trying to track and kill him for fun. 

"Visser 3! Don't kill Rachel!" Jake yelled, just as Visser 3 tiptoed behind her. 

Visser 3 swung his tail at Rachel as hard as he could. 

Rachel, just in time, morphed the Pillsbury Doughboy. She fought with Visser 3, with the Animorphs and Pork-of-Steers as the audience. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. 

Rachel demorphed. "Visser 3! Stop! I think it's your guests!" 

Debbie, unusually alive again, answered the door. 

"False alarm! It's just my pizza!" 

Debbie ate her pizza immediately and dived back under the sofa. 

After Rachel and Visser 3 were dueling for 8 hours, it really was dark out. 

Ax yawned. Rachel! Visser 3! Stop fighting! It's night-night time! Come on!> 

Demorphing, Rachel looked at Ax suspiciously. "Ax, how did you yawn? You don't have a mouth." 

Comic relief again.> 

With that answer, everyone got ready for bed. Soon, they were dreaming their happy, confused, idiotic dreams. 

Debbie dreamed she was in an open field, flowers everywhere. She was trying to catch pixies with a laundry basket tied to her butt. She wasn't having much luck. Mostly because pixies don't exist. 

Tobias dreamed he was riding a German Sheperd in his human form, completely naked. Jake and Cassie were having identical dreams. They were reading a book on the Japanese art of applesauce together, sitting on top of a fire truck. 

Ax dreamed he was a rock star, a baboon, and George Lucas at the same time. And he loved it. 

Marco dreamed that Jake was asking him on how to get girls. "Well, first don't go out with a girl named Bob. Second…" Marco's dream was then rudely interrupted by Dan's dream, when he was eating Fancy Feast cat food. He finished and said, "Good taste is easy to recognize." 

In Visser 3's dream, his sister's friend's mother's husband's boss's niece's online buddy's dog bone was stolen. 

All of the Pork-of-Steers were also having an identical dream. Everyone was at a café, and it was robbed by Afro-wearing Albert Einstein alien clones. 

And Rachel dreamed she morphed a mall, her favorite place. She was in paradise! 

She stole clothes and items from customers when they weren't looking! She played tricks on dorky teenage salesmen! She even ate a person, because they came and didn't buy anything! It was the best dream she ever had. 

**THE END!**


End file.
